With Mother's day just around the corner, it is a chance for all of us to honor our own mothers and thank them for all they have done (Thanks Mom!).
I never really thought about what defines a mother, I had my one mother who gave birth to me, case closed. Mother Defined in the Dictionary is this:
Mother: A Female Parent (note, it says nothing about giving birth to be a real mom)
This is a quite simple definition for such a big job. It is not quite as simple as this, there are many types of mothers and many good mothers and not so good mothers. There are Mother-in-laws, Step Mothers, Foster Mothers, Birth Mother's, Adoptive Mothers...the list goes on.
Many children are fortunate, like me, to have one Mother who gave birth to them and this is all they know. With adoption I will be our child's 3rd Mother, all in their first year of life.
First Mother, Birth Mother: This will always be the woman who gave life to our child, a bond that can never be broken. The selfless act of giving up their baby, for a myriad of reasons. This is the most precious gift any one human being could ever give another. Nothing is expected in return, but to take wonderful care of her baby!
Second Mother, Foster Mother: This Mother will care for and love your child until they are ready to come to their forever family. She is really the glue that keeps the child's life in check, helps them bond with others and begin to mold them. There are Foster Mothers in Korea who have accepted babies into their home over and over again, just to have the babies leave their home after 10 months or more; you have to be a special kind of woman to be able to endure this pain repeatedly, though I think they are happy the children are going home with their forever family.
Third Mother, Adoptive Mother (that's me!): Adopted children have been thorough so much by the time they reach our home, we will do our best to heal the hurts and be a family, there is no other choice. I am in this for the long haul. I have definitely chosen to become a mother, and I cannot wait for the day I hold my baby for the first time. I do not know the end of this story, I do know that I will appreciate being a mother and not take any bit of motherhood for granted. I certainly don't feel like a mother yet, though my instincts are running high and I am very protective of my child, even though we don't know who he or she is yet.
I certainly look forward to having next Mother's Day take on a new meaning for me.
Thank you to ALL Mothers out there, young and old, new and seasoned, doing your best for your children to have a wonderful life!
Every year the day before Mother's Day is Birth Mother's Day, where Birth Mother's are honored. I definitely plan on honoring her on this day and many other's throughout the year.
Happy Mother's Day!
K
