We have been on this adoption journey for nearly 18 months, twice as long as most mothers wait to have a baby and there is no end in sight. We are quickly approaching the 1 year since our Home Study was completed. This is the date that most of the wait time is gauged on, our Home Study to Korea date is May, 11th 2009. As this anniversary of sorts quickly approaches it is difficult to believe it has already been a year. It is equally difficult to believe that one year from now chances are good that our empty room will be occupied, that there will be another place set at the table and we will be a family of three.
As much as we know we are not alone it is still becoming increasingly more difficult to wait. We try to look at the big picture and see that we could get "the call" any time now telling us we have been matched. That is when the wait get's even harder....knowing that YOUR baby that you have waited so long for is half way around the world and you have to wait for all the red tape to be cleared away before you are able to hold them for the first time. Adopting from South Korea is not near as frightening as some other countries have become recently.
CHINA- The wait time skyrocketed from 9 months to likely 4-7 years, it is estimated that 80% of families that sent their paperwork to China have backed out of the program and have chosen other countries, which also means additional fees for these families and starting the paperwork all over again. We started in the China program and switched when we got an email that the South Korea program was looking for families, this was definitely our sign from God.
HAITI- A devistating earthquake in January left a country with an already high number of orphans with many more additional orphans and no government to process adoptions, because all of the government agencies were reduced to a pile of rubble. The program is now CLOSED.
RUSSIA- One womans hasty, selfish, decision caused immeasurable pain to thousands of families in the process of adopting children from Russia. The Russian Government immediately ceased all intercountry adoptions, with the hopes that they can come to some sort of agreement with the US. At this time the program is now CLOSED.
There are statistics that show there are 147 MILLION orphans around the world. Yet the number of hoops you must jump through and fees associated with adopting are beyond comprehension. Medical and financial information must be surrendered, your home must be visited, you must have witnesses (not 1 but 3) vouch for you and indicate that you will be fit parents; (they must also indicate where you might be lacking in the parenting department), we sincerely thank the friends and family that were assigned the laborious task. If all parents had to be put through the ringer in this manner before getting pregnant there would not be 147 Million orphans on this planet.
As we wait there are good days and bad, we have tried to not put our life on hold while we wait. However, some days are just tougher than others and we have to find a way to cope with them...one of the ways is blogging; We hope to have some good news to post soon. Until then the wait continues.
How long we've been waiting for Travel Call...
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
For all the adoptive parents...young and old.
We have heard throughout the adoption process that you will never, ever forget certain days during this process, referral day, your travel call, the first time you meet your baby and family day (when you get to keep them forever). We cannot wait to experience all of these wonderful days.
We have found that other adoptive parents going through this same process are the only people who truely understand how difficult the process can be. They are the only ones that really understand what you are going through. All of our friends and family are very supportive and listen and help us through the tough times, but no one really knows it until you've lived it.
We recently spoke to an adoptive parent who shared her story with us and remembered the smallest details of her quest to become a mother. Her story was full of detail and she talked about her 2 adoptions like it was yesterday, it was an especially wonderful story since it was my 98 year old Great Aunt! Her journey to adopt started more than 70 years ago. This woman is amazing, and has been through a lot in her life. When we approached her, she said that she thinks about us all of the time. Apparently each time she spoke with my grandmother (her sister) she would ask about us, we never knew that she asked about us specifically. She told us how she and her husband had to wait until the war was over before they were allowed to adopt. This was because her husband was of military service age and the government would not want her to have to raise a child on her own. She told us how she was married for 16 years before she finally became a mother. In the late 1940's and early 1950's this was very uncommon for a woman to be married 16 years before having a family. She told us details of her adoption and her journey that most of the family never knew. This really does prove that it is one of those things you might not be able to relate to unless you have walked that road yourself.
Everyone's journey is different and special in their own way. We are very excited to be making these memories and greatful for the connection we are making along the way. Thank you, to all of our fellow adoptive parents who have made us feel as though we are not alone on this wonderful, yet often scary and perplexing process.
We have found that other adoptive parents going through this same process are the only people who truely understand how difficult the process can be. They are the only ones that really understand what you are going through. All of our friends and family are very supportive and listen and help us through the tough times, but no one really knows it until you've lived it.
We recently spoke to an adoptive parent who shared her story with us and remembered the smallest details of her quest to become a mother. Her story was full of detail and she talked about her 2 adoptions like it was yesterday, it was an especially wonderful story since it was my 98 year old Great Aunt! Her journey to adopt started more than 70 years ago. This woman is amazing, and has been through a lot in her life. When we approached her, she said that she thinks about us all of the time. Apparently each time she spoke with my grandmother (her sister) she would ask about us, we never knew that she asked about us specifically. She told us how she and her husband had to wait until the war was over before they were allowed to adopt. This was because her husband was of military service age and the government would not want her to have to raise a child on her own. She told us how she was married for 16 years before she finally became a mother. In the late 1940's and early 1950's this was very uncommon for a woman to be married 16 years before having a family. She told us details of her adoption and her journey that most of the family never knew. This really does prove that it is one of those things you might not be able to relate to unless you have walked that road yourself.
Everyone's journey is different and special in their own way. We are very excited to be making these memories and greatful for the connection we are making along the way. Thank you, to all of our fellow adoptive parents who have made us feel as though we are not alone on this wonderful, yet often scary and perplexing process.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Many Questions
We made our annoucement that we were planning to adopt about 18 months ago. Most everyone was excited for us and had many questions. We are pretty open about how we made the decision to adopt and how the process works. We welcome questions even if someone thinks it is a goofy question.
If you have any questions about the process or were wondering about something, feel free to leave a comment or contact us directly and we will try to address them. Most of this process is a mystery to most people, and we are certainly learning as we go.
There are many assumptions about the process, we would rather have questions asked that we can address than have anyone just assume something.
If you have any questions about the process or were wondering about something, feel free to leave a comment or contact us directly and we will try to address them. Most of this process is a mystery to most people, and we are certainly learning as we go.
There are many assumptions about the process, we would rather have questions asked that we can address than have anyone just assume something.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
No Map For This Journey
We have all heard many times that everything happens for a reason. Also, God has a plan for us but he just has not revealed it to us yet.
On this journey to adoption there have been many difficult choices, though we never made them until we were ready. After many doctors visits (more than we care to remember) and the passage of a lot of time, in December of 2008 we made the decision to pursue international adoption.
At this point in our journey, we are waiting for our referral of a boy or girl from South Korea. In a typical case we would expect to be matched with a child about 12-18 months after our home study was completed. You can see how long we've waited a the top of this page.
We hope to chronicle the remainder of our adoption journey and beyond, we may post annoucements, thoughts, adoption information and things you may need to know. Thank you for following our journey.
On this journey to adoption there have been many difficult choices, though we never made them until we were ready. After many doctors visits (more than we care to remember) and the passage of a lot of time, in December of 2008 we made the decision to pursue international adoption.
At this point in our journey, we are waiting for our referral of a boy or girl from South Korea. In a typical case we would expect to be matched with a child about 12-18 months after our home study was completed. You can see how long we've waited a the top of this page.
We hope to chronicle the remainder of our adoption journey and beyond, we may post annoucements, thoughts, adoption information and things you may need to know. Thank you for following our journey.
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