Is THIS our week to see our baby's face for the first time?

A year ago this week ( July 29th), I saw a beautiful picture for the first time... it was my very first ultrasound and I saw the heartbeat of our baby. 

I was so relieved to see this but aprehensive all the same.  I had  to go to the appointment alone, Mark was out of town. I called him after my appointment and told him everything appeared to be okay. 

Eight days later...We both went to my next appointment, my doctor wanted to do another ultrasound.  I was excited to have Mark see the heartbeat too.  Only this time...there was no heartbeat.    Thank God, Mark was there or I may still be curled up in a corner at the doctors office crying. 

This pregnancy had come as a surprise (we couldn't get this to happen on purpose!), we had sent our homestudy to Korea in May, In July we found out we were expecting.  I was really emotional, scared, confused, worried.  I knew too much about the risks to be really happy, even when I told my mother, I cried, mostly because I was scared and could not be happy or believe it was happening.  I asked God a lot of questions at the time, why now?  I was in a good place, and really excited to begin our adoption journey.  I still ask, why did it happen at all? if it was just going to be horrible news.  I heard "everything happens for a reason" waaaay too many times.  No one ever says that when something good happens, wonder why that is?

I try to think that as part of god's plan, he got confused as to where my baby was supposed to be...whoops, not here...but in Korea. 

The real question is, will God show us our baby's picture for the first time again this week? I really hope so, I promise I will say...everything happens for a reason!