Taking a break...

Taking a break from the blog, the adoption "excitement" or nausea, in some cases.  I'll be back eventually.  Need to focus on something else for a while...until next time.

Desperate times call for Desperate measures...

This weekend I joined a Fantasy Football team for the first time.  I figured if Mark has a team it keeps him occupied on the fall and winter weekends.  I am usually bored unless the Packers are playing. 

What better way to be invested in what is going on, so if you can't beat them join them!   I decided whether we were still waiting for a referral or waiting to travel I would need a weekend distraction, especially once it starts to get cold outside.  Mark only had one "rule" that we had to be in separate leagues and can't play against each other, that would be too hard for us to do and not argue!

I am still trying to think of the perfect team name, that sounds tough but doesn't give me away as a girl.  Right now I am called "SK Omma", (South Korea Omma is Momma in Korean) If anyone has any better ideas please help me.

Is THIS our week to see our baby's face for the first time?

A year ago this week ( July 29th), I saw a beautiful picture for the first time... it was my very first ultrasound and I saw the heartbeat of our baby. 

I was so relieved to see this but aprehensive all the same.  I had  to go to the appointment alone, Mark was out of town. I called him after my appointment and told him everything appeared to be okay. 

Eight days later...We both went to my next appointment, my doctor wanted to do another ultrasound.  I was excited to have Mark see the heartbeat too.  Only this time...there was no heartbeat.    Thank God, Mark was there or I may still be curled up in a corner at the doctors office crying. 

This pregnancy had come as a surprise (we couldn't get this to happen on purpose!), we had sent our homestudy to Korea in May, In July we found out we were expecting.  I was really emotional, scared, confused, worried.  I knew too much about the risks to be really happy, even when I told my mother, I cried, mostly because I was scared and could not be happy or believe it was happening.  I asked God a lot of questions at the time, why now?  I was in a good place, and really excited to begin our adoption journey.  I still ask, why did it happen at all? if it was just going to be horrible news.  I heard "everything happens for a reason" waaaay too many times.  No one ever says that when something good happens, wonder why that is?

I try to think that as part of god's plan, he got confused as to where my baby was supposed to be...whoops, not here...but in Korea. 

The real question is, will God show us our baby's picture for the first time again this week? I really hope so, I promise I will say...everything happens for a reason!

Adoption 101: Starting from the beginning

Many of you know we are currently waiting for our referral of a baby from South Korea, some of you might not know what it took to get here:  I will go through the steps up until this point (this is all from memory, so may not be exact)...the rest of the process will come at a later date after we get our referral!

Initial Application: Done 11-2008
Agency informational meeting: Attended 12-2008
"Official" application: Done 12-2008 ( Had to clarify some medical information etc.)
Await acceptance from the program.
Begin Home study Process: February 2009...this entails the following

• Physicals from our family doctor
• Drug Tests
• Blood test for various conditions or diseases
• Letter from physician for each of us that we will make a fit parent. (due to really old medical stuff from childhood)
• Complete a contract with the agency
• Background checks done with our city, county, state and federal level for every where we have lived since we were 18 years old.
• Fill out lots of paperwork, including answering very invasive personal questions.
• Changed from the China program to the Korea program, ****(perhaps I will expand on this later, a sign from God was involved)
• Complete our foster care license and CPR and first aid requirements.
• Gave the agencies 5 names for personal references. ( Giving those close to us the uncomfortable task of telling the agency why we would be good parents and why we would not be good parents!)
•  Collect letter from our employers verifying employment and health insurance.
• Collect all of our tax records, financial statements, car titles, and any other assets or liabilities we might have.
• Meet with the Social Worker 4 times once together at her office, once separately for each of us at her office and our actual home study visit at our home.
• Our home study was off to Korea on 5-11-2009!
• Completed our Immigration forms that allow us to bring a child from another country, including fingerprinting at the Department of Homeland Security.
• Updated Homestudy ( for US purposes it expires after 1 year)
• Began our Reading and education for inter country adoption, 18 hours or more is required. (our last class is Saturday!) 

I think I covered it all.  If not, I think you will get the picture.  It is a laundry list for sure, but all necessary steps to bring our child home and it will be worth it in the end. 

Until then...the wait continues. As of today 1 year 2 months 1 week and 1 day...It's time to get that phone call, I don't know how much more I can handle.

What you may not know about adoption...

If you have not adopted or do not know many who have adopted you may not know how an adoption works.  There are many steps that need to be taken before and after the child arrives home.

When someone announces that they are expecting a baby most people know how that goes...nine months, big belly, due date, ultrasounds, delivery, drugs or no drugs etc. 

When you announce that you are adopting, most people do not know what that all entails, they see a baby coming to your house...but don't know how that happens or what steps must be taken after.

While I do not have all of the answers, I will try to do several posts to address some of the unique things about the adoption process, Korean adoption and other various issues as it relates to successful bonding and attachment. 

I have a few ideas of what I want everyone to know, but am open to any questions or suggestions that anyone might have, or what they might want to know more about...please don't assume anything, questions are great, just leave a comment. 

You've got the magic touch...or something like that.

In the past few years I have been told by various people as I am holding a baby.

You have the magic touch...
You're the baby wisperer...
Wow they're asleep already?...
She doesn't like anyone but me, but likes you alot...
You look natural holding a baby...

I usually respond with...Yes, another one of my useless talents.  This conversation occured again yesterday, for the first time, I did say this was a useless talent, but followed it up with...But not for long!

I just hope my magic does not wear off before it is my turn to be a mom ;)

A little get away

We celebrated our 6th Wedding Anniversary last Friday. We went away for a long weekend in Door County WI for a little rest, relaxation and escape from the day to day. I am amazed at how fast the last 6 years went, I keep telling myself the next 6 months will go just as fast!

The picture of us that we added to the blog is us in front of our favorite restaurant on our Anniversary, I am getting pretty good at taking pictures of us by just turning the camera around blind.

We had a nice time and got to stop at many of our favorite spots while we were there. I was happy to find a few adoption books in some of the shops. We got a cute one about what an adopted child does when she has to tell her life story as a class project. There is a very positive message at the end.

Even though we were escaping it all, our child remained in the forefront of our minds, even though we have yet to see his or her face for the first time.  The rest was nice and helped to focus on the important things in life.