Our Basement is a Disaster Area

Next week we will hold a rummage to raise funds for our adoption expenses. About 6 months ago we asked close friends and family to give us things they would otherwise give to goodwill. You can see the results of this solicitation in the photographs. We got a very generous response.  Some went out of their way to meet us with things halfway between our home and theirs.  Others dropped things off at the house while we were at work.  We don't even know what's in some of these boxes yet!!

We wish to thank all those who donated stuff for the rummage.  It will be neat to show our child these pictures one day. He or she will be able to see the stuff we got to help bring him or her home.  Our child will know he or she was loved before anyone even knew who he or she was. We will post pictures of the rummage as well. It will run on Friday and Saturday June 4th – 5th.

We are looking forward to having several of our family and friends come through on this Memorial Day weekend to help us set up/organize for next week, and enjoy some grilling out. We are very grateful for all the veterans who paid the ultimate price so we could have it easy.

 Have a happy and safe Memorial Day Holiday!

When something "catches" you off guard

As a fisherman, Mark is used to waiting on something for a long time, sometimes without moving for what seems like an eternity, but when he gets "the" fish he is waiting on it all makes it worth it. 

In a way our wait for our referral is the same way. Lots of waiting and it seems like time has stood still.
Sometimes the wait makes you feel uneasy or antsy.  I know what triggers my emotions and anxiety,
I know I need to have my guard up when I am going to be around a baby or see someone pregnant.  I am good at "dealing" with it.  We can't account for when something catches you by surprise when you aren't expecting it to. 

On Saturday we took a walk near a lake after we had gone out for dinner.  There was a man and his son fishing, they had caught a fish, the dad went running back to the car for something, as he ran past us I noticed he was Asian, the little boy about 3 ( also Asian) yelled to us, "we got a big fishy!" and waved it around...still on the line.  We congratulated him and told him good job. 

As we walked away we just looked at each other.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  Mark loves fishing, and we have often talked about he and our son or daughter going fishing together.  The little Asian boy put me over the edge, I can be a good waiter sometimes and other times....not so much. 

Project to keep us busy

We have been trying to keep busy as we wait, tackling or creating projects around the house.  After I was done painting the nursery I was looking for a new project.  When we were assessing what we needed for the nursery we were talking about whether or not we needed a changing table.  We were also trying to find a way to utilize a very old ugly beat up dresser we had, so we painted the dresser and will use it as a changing table! The drawers don't work very well, so we plan to put the next size clothes or extra sheets and stuff in it.  Here are before and after photos.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

We plan to add a changing pad, and a basket.  The colors are two from our safari bedding we got. 

Our next project...THE RUMMAGE SALE...more on that later!

May 11...1 year waiting

Tomorrow marks the one year wait since our home study was sent to Korea.  I recently found out that May 11th is Adoption day in Korea.  It is a celebration to promote Korean domestic adoption.  I think this is just a little too ironic for me. 

Honestly, our phone could ring at any time...we just don't know.  We have been trying to distract ourselves and do projects around the house.  We'll post more about this later...once I figure out how to post photos. 

Until "the call" we will keep living life and looking forward.  Thanks everyone for all of your support.

What is a mother...depends on your perspective

With Mother's day just around the corner, it is a chance for all of us to honor our own mothers and thank them for all they have done (Thanks Mom!). 

I never really thought about what defines a mother, I had my one mother who gave birth to me, case closed.  Mother Defined in the Dictionary is this:

Mother: A Female Parent (note, it says nothing about giving birth to be a real mom)

This is a quite simple definition for such a big job. It is not quite as simple as this, there are many types of mothers and many good mothers and not so good mothers.  There are Mother-in-laws, Step Mothers, Foster Mothers, Birth Mother's, Adoptive Mothers...the list goes on. 

Many children are fortunate, like me, to have one Mother who gave birth to them and this is all they know.  With adoption I will be our child's 3rd Mother, all in their first year of life. 

First Mother, Birth Mother: This will always be the woman who gave life to our child, a bond that can never be broken.  The selfless act of giving up their baby, for a myriad of reasons.  This is the most precious gift any one human being could ever give another.  Nothing is expected in return, but to take wonderful care of her baby! 

Second Mother, Foster Mother:  This Mother will care for and love your child until they are ready to come to their forever family.  She is really the glue that keeps the child's life in check, helps them bond with others and begin to mold them.  There are Foster Mothers in Korea who have accepted babies into their home over and over again, just to have the babies leave their home after 10 months or more; you have to be a special kind of woman to be able to endure this pain repeatedly, though I think they are happy the children are going home with their forever family.

Third Mother, Adoptive Mother (that's me!): Adopted children have been thorough so much by the time they reach our home, we will do our best to heal the hurts and be a family, there is no other choice.  I am in this for the long haul.  I have definitely chosen to become a mother, and I cannot wait for the day I hold my baby for the first time.  I do not know the end of this story, I do know that I will appreciate being a mother and not take any bit of motherhood for granted.  I certainly don't feel like a mother yet, though my instincts are running high and I am very protective of my child, even though we don't know who he or she is yet.  

I certainly look forward to having next Mother's Day take on a new meaning for me.

Thank you to ALL Mothers out there, young and old, new and seasoned, doing your best for your children to have a wonderful life! 

Every year the day before Mother's Day is Birth Mother's Day, where Birth Mother's are honored.  I definitely plan on honoring her on this day and many other's throughout the year.  

Happy Mother's Day! 

K

Turning a new leaf...the positives of waiting

I decided I had to turn a new leaf...or no one would ever read this blog again.  I have to save the whining for when it really gets tough to wait.  For now, I will try to remain positive. Here are a few reasons why the wait can be positive.

* The longer we wait the more money we can save!
* The longer we wait the more vacation K earns for more paid time off.
* We can still sleep in...if you call 6:30 sleeping in.
* We can watch whatever we want on TV.

We will gladly give it all up for our child, the wait will be very much worth it.  A year from now (hopefully) we will not even remeber the wait and we won't know what we did with our time before we became parents.

A new week, a new attitude and a new prayer that we will be matched with our baby soon!

Waiting and waiting and waiting...It's not over yet.

We have been on this adoption journey for nearly 18 months, twice as long as most mothers wait to have a baby and there is no end in sight.  We are quickly approaching the 1 year since our Home Study was completed.  This is the date that most of the wait time is gauged on, our Home Study to Korea date is May, 11th 2009.  As this anniversary of sorts quickly approaches it is difficult to believe it has already been a year.  It is equally difficult to believe that one year from now chances are good that our empty room will be occupied, that there will be another place set at the table and we will be a family of three. 

As much as we know we are not alone it is still becoming increasingly more difficult to wait.  We try to look at the big picture and see that we could get "the call" any time now telling us we have been matched. That is when the wait get's even harder....knowing that YOUR baby that you have waited so long for is half way around the world and you have to wait for all the red tape to be cleared away before you are able to hold them for the first time.  Adopting from South Korea is not near as frightening as some other countries have become recently. 

CHINA- The wait time skyrocketed from 9 months to likely 4-7 years, it is estimated that 80% of families that sent their paperwork to China have backed out of the program and have chosen other countries, which also means additional fees for these families and starting the paperwork all over again.  We started in the China program and switched when we got an email that the South Korea program was looking for families, this was definitely our sign from God.

HAITI- A devistating earthquake in January left a country with an already high number of orphans with many more additional orphans and no government to process adoptions, because all of the government agencies were reduced to a pile of rubble.  The program is now CLOSED.

RUSSIA- One womans hasty, selfish, decision caused immeasurable pain to thousands of families in the process of adopting children from Russia.    The Russian Government immediately ceased all intercountry adoptions, with the hopes that they can come to some sort of agreement with the US.  At this time the program is now CLOSED.

There are statistics that show there are 147 MILLION orphans around the world.  Yet the number of hoops you must jump through and fees associated with adopting are beyond comprehension.  Medical and financial information must be surrendered, your home must be visited, you must have witnesses (not 1 but 3) vouch for you and indicate that you will be fit parents; (they must also indicate where you might be lacking in the parenting department), we sincerely thank the friends and family that were assigned the laborious task.  If all parents had to be put through the ringer in this manner before getting pregnant there would not be 147 Million orphans on this planet.

As we wait there are good days and bad, we have tried to not put our life on hold while we wait. However, some days are just tougher than others and we have to find a way to cope with them...one of the ways is blogging; We hope to have some good news to post soon.  Until then the wait continues.